Positive Second Time Birth

THE BIRTH OF ALFIE.

When we found out we were expecting a second baby, we wanted to feel as confident and calm as we did the first time when we had a really empowering and positive experience despite a “high-risk” labour.

We opted for an online refresher session with Hannah having previously taken a group course 2 and a half years earlier as we prepared for the birth of our son Josh. The session and subsequent practice gave us time to connect as a couple and to build our confidence. Hannah reminded us of the wide range of tools and techniques and how well we had worked as a team previously, using all the tools that we were taught.

We used some of the techniques whilst we were under consultant care to monitor baby’s growth during the third trimester. We were offered an induction on several occasions as our due date approached. We called on our affirmations, meditations, knowledge of birth and the BRAIN technique to ask lots of questions and to understand the clinical evidence and our own preferences to make choices that felt right for us. The tools were also helpful to stay positive and calm. My instinct told me that baby would arrive in his own time, in his own way and low and behold he did…

At 7 days overdue I had a second stretch and sweep with my community midwife. We’d arranged for Dave’s parents to look after Josh, so I could let my body work it’s magic. My instinct told me to ride the waves of oxytocin from the sweep, so before heading home we went for a riverside walk from the doctor’s surgery into town and picked up some takeaway cakes from a café.  

Once home, I settled into our lounge, slumped over my birthing ball with the blinds down. I switched on my diffuser with my favourite essential oils and I zoned out listening to my favourite meditations and affirmations. I felt calm, at peace and relaxed. Around 4pm whilst lying on my side on the sofa, I felt the start of some surges. Dave’s parents and Josh arrived home from their day trip shortly afterwards and at 5pm we took Josh for a walk around the village to help us get a sense of where my surges might be heading and to come up with a plan. 

We agreed to make tea, get Josh to bed for 7pm and go from there. This gave me a good focus and by 7pm I was experiencing 3-4 surges in every ten minutes. We rang Barnsley hospital at 7.30pm and they asked us to come in and recommended taking some paracetamol. I snook off to see Josh asleep before we left, and I cried a little happy tear knowing that the next time I saw him, he’d be meeting his baby brother. 

When we arrived in triage, I was hooked up to monitoring and an examination confirmed that I was 2.5cms dilated. The midwife suggested that we went for a walk and to come back in 90 minutes to see how things were progressing. It was a beautiful summers evening, so we decided to go outside and settled into a spot in the car park, against a wall for me to lean over when I had a surge. We chatted and popped on an upbeat playlist on Dave’s phone and we sang and danced about together, keeping the oxytocin flowing. I also asked Dave to read out an affirmation each time I had a surge to give me a focus to ride each wave. We felt really happy and excited to meet our little boy. 

We headed back up to triage at 10pm. I was examined, and I was 3cms. I didn’t feel deflated as my instinct told me that things were progressing well. The midwife suggested that we go home but with the frequency and regularity of my surges, she indicated that it might be worth thinking about staying. My instinct immediately told me to stay as I was concerned that I wouldn’t know when to come back to hospital. The midwife confirmed that Dave could stay with me overnight and we were taken to a small private room off the labour ward. 

As we arrived in our room around 11pm, the lights had been dimmed and a diffuser with aromatherapy oils had been set up for us. We settled in and we popped on a calmer playlist Dave had made for us. The midwife said she’d pop back in 4 hours. Dave suggested that it might be helpful to use my tens machine at this point as I’d found it really helpful in my previous labour. We set it up and carried on using the breathing techniques and affirmations. As the surges became more intense, I started repeating “relax, relax, relax” to help each surge move me a little further along. 

The intensity of surges was ramping up and I asked for some pain relief around midnight and I was given some codeine (once we researched what it was!). Around 1am I felt a small trickle down my leg which I knew was my waters starting to go. Around 45 minutes later I asked to be examined as my instinct told me that things were progressing well. We both cried with relief and excitement when it was confirmed that I was 7cms. We were quickly helped to make our way across the corridor to the birth centre, pausing each time I experienced a surge. 

We had asked for a room with a birthing pool. We were given a room without a pool whilst a room with a pool was made ready for us. I was delighted to have use of the gas and air. I continued to stand and sway with my surges whilst leaning on Dave. We kept focusing on my breathing and affirmations whilst listening to the playlist. Around half an hour later, the room with a pool was ready. 

I was using the gas and air more frequently as I remember explaining to Dave that my surges were almost continual and crashing into each other (which I know now was the transition phase). The midwife suggested that it might be time to think about getting into the pool as it had finished being filled up. I explained to Dave and the two midwifes that I was waiting until it was time to push! Little did I know, shortly after this, I felt a huge urge to push. I worryingly told Dave that I thought I was pooing! I continued to use the gas and air and sang at the same time to the music. I soon felt another urge to bear down. I asked what it was, and the midwife and Dave explained that our baby’s head had come out, I was really shocked! One more push, I visualised a coffee plunger and I felt the need to move closer to the floor. Our baby was caught by Dave and one of the midwifes. Alfie was born at 3.46am with 3 pushes. I held him in my arms as the gas and air quickly wore off. I was in absolute shock that he had arrived with so few pushes. I was holding my beautiful baby boy in my arms and I kept saying “I did it, I did it!!!”. I felt so relieved that he was with safely with us.

I soon gave Alfie his first feed and we had delayed cord clamping whilst I tried to birth the placenta. I had the injection as I wasn’t having any joy and it made me very sick. I had a second-degree tear which involved the on-duty consultant getting involved. It happened to be one of the consultants I had during pregnancy. I kept telling him that I told him I could do it by myself! After lots of gas and air and a local anaesthetic I was stitched up and bought tea and toast. I had a shower, got ready and we headed back home less than 6 hours after Alfie was born to join Josh at home to start our new life as a family of four.

The techniques have also helped us through a challenging few weeks after Alfie’s birth. I caught some infections which both needed a course of antibiotics. Josh also had to isolate due to one of his nursery friends catching Covid. I often come back to one of my favourite affirmations,

“I focus on what I can control, and I choose to let go of what I can’t”.  This really grounded me, giving me strength, calm and focus during my pregnancy, birth and after. 

Fran and Dave - Barnsley