Positive Second Time Birth (with a few challenges along the way)

The birth of Benjamin 

Our route to the birth of Benjamin, you could say wasn't that straight forward and if you'd had asked either myself or my partner, Adam where we saw ourselves in 2 year’s time, we would have laughed at the answer. Myself and Adam had originally met 13 years previously when we were teenagers and fell pregnant with our first son Alexander. My pregnancy for my age was pretty straight forward (apart from me finding out at 6 months.) I went overdue, was sent in for an induction, for my waters to break on the ward and then about 3-4 hrs later, Alex was born in a birthing pool on the midwife led unit. After 13 years of not exactly being on the best terms with Adam, we finally managed to reconcile and to give our now adult relationship another chance. After an interesting 12 months due to Covid 19, sharing a room at my mum’s house (with just enough room for a double bed) and then moving into our own place, we found out we were expecting.

This very quickly led up to a very up and down high-risk pregnancy, due to being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 23 weeks and dealing with some hurt feelings from our past pregnancy. Due to the GD, I was Consultant led. By the time I was 5 months pregnant, I was really struggling with Anxiety, I was unable to sleep at night, spending most evenings either crying myself to sleep or crying into my partners chest until I’d finally drift off. I dreaded each and every time I had to attend Pinderfields hospital to see my consultant. I started to feel like all my birth options had be taken away and decided for me, I left every appointment deflated or in tears and with Covid had to attend these appointments alone, which in turn stirred up feelings from my previous pregnancy and made me feel really vulnerable. Even with my medical background, the minute I'd sit in that room, I started to feel like my entire pregnancy had been taken out of my hands and was being medically managed even though everything was stable. I'd hoped for a home water birth, but this was quickly taken off the table for me despite my research and knowledge.

My sister, after me crying on the phone to her for what must have been the millionth time, kindly bought me the intensive hypnobirthing course with Hannah, as it had helped her greatly with the birth of her second baby. This was the turning point in my pregnancy, the course gave me the techniques and confidence I need at my lowest point.

Going forward even from my first session with Hannah I felt less anxious and found myself using breathing techniques in the waiting room before every one of my appointments. I started to feel that I have taken back control over my pregnancy and had the confidence to challenge options presented to me.

I had my final consultant appointment at Pinderfields on the 20th of April at 39 weeks. After a discussion with one of my consultant’s registrar's and a bit of negotiating, a sweep was done which I had ask for and an induction date of the 25th of April was arranged.

This was the moment I'd been dreading, the last thing I wanted was to be medially induced. I had wanted to start my labour naturally at home, in a more positive calming birth environment with my partner. Being a nurse myself, the thought of coming into hospital felt like a bus man's holiday and not the most ideal environment for labour and birth. I sat in the car park crying, but after a chat with my sister and Adam, who both cheered me up, my sister suggested that I should contact Hannah to discuss how I was feeling. We set up a zoom call and we were able to discuss how to use hypnobirthing techniques for induction and how to prepare, we had previously skipped over this topic in our original discussions, as I had chosen not to discuss this just yet, as I was hoping to avoid induction as I had in my previous birth.

After this chat I felt so much better and made the decision to book the last 3 days off work before I started my maternity leave to get myself into the right frame of mind and try to get things going naturally. This was the best decision I could have made.

Over the next couple of days, myself and Adam walked as much as we could, had plenty of cuddles and kisses and made our way through most of the rom coms on Netflix, basically tried everything to encourage oxytocin. But our little blueberry (we didn't know the sex of our little man at the time) wasn't budging, even after having a 2nd sweep with my midwife on the Friday. My midwife did inform me after my sweep that I was in early labour as my cervix had started to soften and thin out and that evening I had my bloody show.

On the Saturday we continued our efforts, but nothing progressed and that evening we got the call from the induction suite at Pinderfields to come in for my induction at 4am the next morning. Everything seemed very real all of a sudden and I was really anxious and nervous about what was to come. Because of this me and Adam spent the evening relaxing as much as possible. He ran me a bath surrounded by candles of my favourite scent, sandalwood and I put on my hypnobirthing MP3 tracks. After my bath I felt much more relaxed and prepared for what was to come. We packed up the car for our early start and had an early night, well as early as it could have been when we finally drifted off with the mixture of excitement and nervousness of what was to come.

At 3am we got up to make the journey into hospital. I popped my Spotify playlist on in the car and continued to use breathing and visualisation to keep as calm as possible. When we arrived on the ward we made the midwives aware that we were hypnobirthing and I handed over my quite detailed list of birth preferences.

We were then shown to a side room where the induction was going to take place. The midwife checked me into the suite, this included a vaginal exam that I consented too, where again I was informed that I had already started to dilate to about 1-2cm, I was connected up to a foetal monitor which was agreed to be kept on for the shortest time possible. As part of my birth preferences, I wished to be as mobile as possible with intermittent monitoring. The induction options were then explained to us. We were then left to decide which option we felt was the best for us. We discussed all our options and decided to opt for the non-hormonal method that they were trailing, this involved the insertion of dilation rods as these would not lead to hyperstimulation.

Adam kept me laughing and calm whilst we were waiting for the midwives to set up. The midwives mentioned that the procedure could be uncomfortable for most women, so they offered me gas and air if I needed it. Adam held my hand during the procedure and before I knew it, the rods were in. It was completely painless, and I didn't require the gas and air, I managed my discomfort using the breathing techniques. We were informed that the rods were to stay in place for the next 12-15 hrs, when they would be removed and if they were successful we would be transferred to the labour ward for my waters to be broken. I had asked in my birth preferences that if I were to be induced, I didn't want to start the process if I was going to be stuck waiting on the induction ward if there were no beds available on the labour ward for my waters to be broken (I had recently had a friend stuck on a wards for a couple of days waiting for this to happen.) I was reassured at the time that this wouldn't be the case.

Myself and Adam were then allowed to spend the next hour together before it was time for him to leave and for me to be relocated to my new bed on the ward, in a 4 bed bay. By this point, since having the rods inserted I was starting to feel some cramping in my stomach similar to period pain but nothing too uncomfortable. The hour quickly passed with me and Adam chatting away, trying not to fall asleep at this point, 6am.

We said our goodbyes for a short period of time, as he could return for visiting in 4hrs and we both got some sleep. I was shown to my new bed.. I decided to make my area as comfortable as I could. I changed into my PJ's and put on my fabulous, sexy hospital socks. To my surprise I found I had a birthing ball by my bed, that I then went on to use as my chair for my entire stay on the induction suite. Once I had my area how I liked it, I text Adam to make sure he'd got home safely and went to sleep for a few hours.

On waking, I met the other ladies in my bay, all at varying stages of induction/labour, all waiting for either beds on the labour ward or for their inductions to progress. We all chatted between ourselves over breakfast as we waiting to be either updated on our progress or for our partners to return. During this time, I continued to have some discomfort in my lower abdomen, but thought nothing of it. Me and Adam continued to constantly message one another during his absence, with him making me laugh and asking me if I would like any diabetic goodies to keep me going, as the hospital had slim pickings and we planned my first proper non diabetic meal post birth, dependant on the time of day.

On Adams return we set up my tablet and being the big nerds that we are and expecting a long stay in hospital, we put on Star Wars from the beginning, to which we found out that the wifi wasn't all it was cracked up to be and chose to watch Eurotrip whilst the first film downloaded. Adam was sat on my chair and I was bouncing away on my ball.

Before we knew it and as we laughed away quoting the film word for word, it was once again kicking out time for visitors at lunchtime. The midwife came and asked if it was okay to check Ben's heart beat and my observations, I agreed to this. Everything was fine with our little man, happily kicking away as usual.

I had continued to have cramping in my lower abdomen but nothing dissimilar to period cramps. I assumed it was just discomfort from the rods, as being non-hormonal we were told that they wouldn't stimulate contractions. Whilst Adam was gone, I discovered that we didn't have to continue to be trapped on the ward and that we were allowed to go for walks around the hospital grounds.

On Adams return, I informed him that we were going to do some laps of the hospital, to see if we could speed things along and to go sit in the sun. During this walk we decided to time the cramps I'd been having as there were getting a bit more uncomfortable, we found that they were coming quite regularly and were actually surges. It turned out I had started to go into labour on my own with the irritation from the rods. The walk had helped in stimulating the surges, they definitely felt stronger following our walk.

Once more, it had come to kicking out time on the ward and time for tea. Just before tea arrived the midwife came to talk to me with me coming up to the 12hr mark, she stated that the labour ward had a couple of admissions and that she had spoken to the coordinator about leaving the rods in up until the 15-hr mark and then removing them. I was disappointed with this news as this was exactly what I didn't want to happen, so I messaged Adam with the update. Luckily, when I was being checked at 8pm they said Adam could stay with me whilst they removed the rods, this made me feel a bit more positive.

By this point, I'd taken to photographing my food for mine and my family’s amusement at the delights of what I was able to eat on the ward, as a diabetic to try keep my sugars in check. I sat on my ball and bounced away whilst I ate my dinner, stopping occasionally as a surge came and went, I was aiming to be as active as possible, this was my main goal in labour as I didn't want to be stuck on a hospital bed in agony and was trying to speed things along to get back home again. This kept me going through my alone time on the ward in-between Adam’s visits and kept my mind off my now increasingly uncomfortable surges.

I messaged Adam that my surges had become more uncomfortable and that when he returned, asked if he could help me attach the tens machine before we went to do a couple more laps. The midwife had offered me some oral painkillers, but I declined these as I felt I didn't need them just yet.

Whilst waiting for Adams evening visit, I had taken to pacing my bed space and continued to hop on and off the ball as I felt more comfortable moving around. The midwife on the night shift came to introduce herself and to give me an update. She was the first midwife I'd met that read my birth preferences and came to apologise for the extension to my stay and that she would happily removed the rods whilst Adam was there. At this point I asked for some oral pain killers. It was the first time I felt like I knew what was going on and felt more at ease.

Adam arrived Starbucks in hand as requested and helped me attach the tens machine, this felt lovely on my lower back and took the edge off the surges. We then went for a couple more laps before the rods were removed. When we arrived back on the ward it was time for visitors to leave, the midwife stated she would be with us shortly and allowed me to get comfortable on my bed ready for the removal.

The midwife then removed the rods as Adam held my hand. She stated that the rods weren't even in my cervix and had fallen out once I had dilated to a point where they could no longer stay in. At this point I was 4-5 cm dilated and elated that I was finally eligible to be put on the list to be moved to the labour ward for my waters to be broken, though at that time there was no bed and around 5 ladies before me waiting to be transferred. We were hopeful that this wouldn't take too long and that we would be meeting our little man very soon.

Me and Adam said our goodbyes, hoping we would see each other sooner than the morning. I was attached to the CTG machine to check how our little man was getting on and this time round tracked my surges. Everything was still fine, and our little man continued squiggled away unaffected by being squeezed. Adam messaged me just before he went to sleep, to make sure I was comfortable, and I thanked him for being a top birthing partner and for my Starbucks pick me up. I messaged our eldest to let him know how I was getting on and updated my mum, who stated to ring her at whatever hour as soon as our little one had arrived. I settled down in my bed for what I imagined was going to be a long night, napping in-between my ever more uncomfortable surges. I finally fell asleep, tens machine booster button in hand at around 3am.

About an hour later I was woken up by the noise and lights on the ward. The other girl in my bay's waters had gone, so it was her time to go to the labour ward. I ended up in my bay all alone, in and out of sleep until about 6am, when I was awoken by another couple chatting away, feeling rather exhausted with all that had gone on overnight. I decided to get up out of bed, into my comfies and back on my birthing ball. At this point my surges required me to stop and either roll my pelvis around on my ball or sway on the spot whilst I paced around my bed space. The midwife caught me mid surge and offered me some more pain killers that I politely accepted, and she informed me that I was now 3rd in the queue.

Adam messaged me at around half 7 to see how my night had been. I updated him on my progress and my lack of sleep. He offered to bring me a coffee and some crumpets as a pick me up, that I was truly grateful for. He would be coming back to the ward at 9am. The midwives handed over to the day staff and then came round to introduce themselves.

The midwife on today was particularly lovely, she said she would wait for Adam to return and then we would read through my birthing preferences and she would answer any questions we had, as I was starting to feel a little like I'd been forgotten. I asked for some more painkillers and she also offered me laxative as the dihydrocodeine would probably bung me up.

Adam arrived back at 9a, and the midwife went through my birth preferences, stating that it was quite reasonable what I had requested and that they were able to follow the requests I had made. Me and Adam then went for our morning laps of the grounds of the hospital. We found an area round the back where we could sit, talk and relax in the sun, away from the hospital environment. The laps this time had become increasingly more difficult, with me having to stop and sway whilst holding on to Adam, as I pressed the boost button on the tens machine or having to stop speaking whilst we sat in the sun as I rocked and breathed as the surges came and went. We'd continued to time the surges during our walk, working as a team as he'd press the surge button whilst I pressed the boost button, just cuddling him as I swayed through the surges.

We returned to the ward for Adam to leave again. I had my lunch though this time, as the surges would stop me on my tracks. I set up my birthing ball in a way that I could turn and lean over my bed and cuddle into my pregnancy pillow, breathing through my surges. I chatted to the woman that had been admitted that morning, telling each other our tale of induction and then decided I needed a nap, as I was now truly exhausted. I managed to nap until about 1pm. The midwife then came and asked if she could check me over and check how the baby was managing. She could see how uncomfortable my surges were, so she made sure I was off the bed again as quickly as possible, so that I could continue to pace around again. Not long after Adam arrived, we went for our laps. We decided to walk a different way around to mix it up a bit this time. We decided not to walk as far, as I was really struggling with my surges now. I had my tens machine maxed out and had to stop walking every few steps to sway with my arms around Adams neck as I zoned out and breathed through the surges.

We made our way back to the ward just at kicking out time again. Adam decided to go to my sisters this time as they had cooked him his tea. I had some more pain killers and was told I was going to have my baby checked again at 6pm. Not long after Adam had left, I began to have really strong surges close together. I ate about 2-3 fork fulls of my salad, in-between surges until I gave up on trying to eat. I pushed my table away to give myself space as I rocked and bounced through the strong surges, as they came one after the other, trying to track them whilst breathing though them, whilst using the tens machine. The girl opposite watched on asking if I were alright. I screen shot my last few surges through to Adam, they were very frequent and lasting about a minute and a half. Then just as I had my next surge, my waters went in a very drastic fashion, I felt them pop as they began covering my ball, all the floor at my side of the ward, soaking my shoes and leggings and just generally causing a puddle across the bay. I said “ohhhh” to the girl opposite as she's asked if everything was alright, I exclaimed “my waters have gone” and please could she get the midwife.

At this point, I felt instant relief from my surges and got a slight break whilst the midwifes arrived and asked how I knew my waters had gone. I gestured to all around me and they could see that they had in fact, gone everywhere. The midwives then helped me to get changed and cleaned up the mess I'd made. I manage to text Adam to tell him that my waters had gone. He quickly rang me to say he'd inhaled his tea and was on his way back. I was told I would be moved to the labour ward shortly. The midwife then asked if she could attach the CTG machine again. By this time, the surges had built up and came back with a vengeance. The midwife allowed me to stay standing, swaying, holding on to the end of my bed as the surges kept coming. Each time a surge came, I managed to soak through pad after pad as more waters came away. Adam appeared at that moment, just as then next surge was building up and I held onto him swaying and breathing as it passed.

Adam then helped pack up my things and assisted me on getting out of my second set of soaked shorts. I continued to sway and breathe through my surges as I waited to be transferred to the labour ward. The midwife looking after me brought over the coordinator from the labour ward, who gave me the good news that I would be able to use the birthing pool and the room was free as soon as the CTG was done. It was at my next surge when the tens machine wasn't really taking the edge off, that I asked if I could have gas and air.

This is when everything started to become a bit of a blur with my exhaustion and the gas and air. The midwife brought the canister to me and before she could ask me if I knew how to use it, I was breathing it in during my next surge. It was decided, as I were getting more than a few minutes break between strong surges that I would be unable to walk to the labour ward and a student midwife came to collect me in a wheelchair. I was wheeled to the water birth room on the labour ward and was instantly relieved once I saw the pool and how the room was set up with soft lighting and positive affirmations on the wall.

I was greeted by the midwife and her student, who asked me what I would like to do. I instantly asked if I could get in the pool, they joked saying “as long as you remove the tens machine before you electrocute yourself.”

I've never stripped off so fast in my life. I yanked the tens machine from my back and the midwife assisted me into the pool. I felt instant relief. I was so happy to be finally comfortable in the birthing pool. Whilst this was all going on, the midwife told Adam to set up the room with my hypnobirthing supplies. They already had some tea lights around the pool, so he just added to these and draped the fairy lights around the bed space. He then put on the hypnobirthing mp3s and I relaxed in the birthing pool. The student nurse then handed me the gas and air as that I had asked for and I continued to sway and float through the continuing surges. At this point I was in my own little world. The midwife and the student kept quite in the background at the opposite side of the room, whilst Adam stroked and rubbed my shoulders, as I floated in the pool. They had read my birth preferences and spoke through Adam to ask my any questions. They asked Adam to ask me when I last did my blood sugars and a couple of other questions and this continued up until handover to the next midwife. I was left mostly to just be in my zone and either breathe through my surges or take the gas and air when needed. I was happy, comfortable and felt calm in this moment. It felt like just me and Adam were in the room. I was finally at peace and was able to just listen to my body and go through the motions.

Unfortunately, this wasn't how my labour was to remain. The atmosphere in the room unfortunately changed once the next midwife took over my care. It quickly became apparent that she hadn't read my birth preferences, and this is the part where I feel my birth took a turn from how I would have preferred it.

The new midwife began asking lots of questions, directly to me, even though both myself and Adam had requested for her to speak to him. Each time this happened, I struggled to get back into my zone of comfort, calm and trance like state. I asked Adam to put my music playlist on now instead.

Due to being disturbed a number of times, I was starting to struggle with my exhaustion and the pain. I asked the midwife if she would check my progress as I needed to know where I was at. She told me I'd have to exit the pool to be examined on the bed and would have to go to the toilet first. I begrudgingly struggled out of the pool and made my way to the toilet and then on to the bed. We asked that my progress was told to Adam so that he could put it to me in a way that wouldn't dishearten me. Luckily it wasn't negative news and gave me what I needed to continue.

It was at this point I was informed I couldn't get back in the pool and a debate began as to why. Adam then stepped in to talk to the midwife outside the room, allowing me to get back into my state of hypnosis, though I was now laid very uncomfortably on a bed and was struggling with my surges. Being laid on my back on the bed was excruciating. Adam and the midwife returned back to the room and the use of a CTG was then discussed in order for me to re-enter the pool. I snapped once again out of my zone and had to declined being attached to the CTG whilst being stuck on this bed after she wasn't listening to Adam. I stated that I was informed by the coordinator that I could have the waterproof portable CTG machine and would be able to labour and birth in the pool. It came to light that the midwives there unable to locate all the parts to the portable machine and due to my refusal, the doctor was sent to speak to me.

She began trying to explain to me why they wanted what they wanted as I explained my needs. This all was all going on whilst I had to keep cutting her off as I was hit by surge after surge. Eventually, Adam called enough and asked to speak to the Dr outside the room, leaving me and the midwife. The pain being on my back on the bed was unbearable, the gas and air wasn't taking the edge off the surges, so I chose to breathe through these instead. The midwife continued to chat to me whilst I tried to regain my composure and I informed her as to how quickly my last son came when I started to push. Adam and the Dr returned to the room, Adam had clearly expressed his concerns and had fought my corner as the Dr now told the midwife to find the new portable CTG and learn how to use it, and to allow me back in the pool. Me and Adam were then left to continue through the surges as the midwife located the machine. At this point it was getting too much for me. I was exhausted and couldn't go on laid on the bed. I then asked for Meptid to help. The midwife did this alongside some anti sickness drugs, she asked if she could attach me to the wired CTG whilst she sorted out the portable one. She, at this point was struggling to position these probes in a way that she could hear the baby. This was due to Ben being much lower than she expected. Whilst attaching the CTG, she noticed that when a surge came, I was curling my toes and asked if I had the urge to push. Which I had, had during my past couple of surges. At this point I was really uncomfortable, I asked for further pain killers but was unable to have some after just having the meptid.

Adam being the brilliant birth partner he was, then stepped in again and stated I was clearly really uncomfortable on my back and could I change positions. I was so thankful for this, as it was just what I needed. The midwife asked, as she couldn't get a good signal if she could attached a clip to the baby's head before I turned. She tried on 3 attempts to do this but was unsuccessful, so it was given up as a bad job and I turned on to all fours on the bed with the back raised which was so much more comfortable. This immediately put a lot of pressure down below, as I opened up my pelvis and I instantly needed to push, which I started to do.

As I started to push, Benjamin's head instantly started to crown, the midwife exclaimed “stop” as she struggled to apply her sterile glove, putting her had through two pairs. Luckily, she was able to put them on, just as I pretty much fired Ben into the world in a very short period of time, I wasn't lying when I stated that once I begin pushing, it would be fast like my previous birth.

Our little one had finally arrived, and Adam informed me that we had another little boy. Benjamin was passed to my chest as I turned over onto my back. From this point, the rest of my preferences were followed. We were allowed an hour of skin to skin to cuddle Benjamin into our chests. We had optimal cord clamping and Adam cut the cord when the time came. I was given the injection in my tummy to pass my placenta as requested, after I had a bleed following my previous birth. We spent that next hour in perfect bliss, as were cuddled our newest edition, taking in all that had just happened and we instantly forgot about all the craziness of the last few hours with our little boy in our arms. After this, both mine and Benjamin’s post birth checks were done, I'd come away again lightly, with a slight graze, no stiches needed. Benjamin George Brian Bernard Heslop was born at 21:44 on the 26th of April, weighing 8lb 7oz, which was less than his older brother. After birthing my placenta and no longer having Gestational Diabetes any more, to hear the words “would you like tea and biscuits with sugar in it?”, I was definitely in my happy place. With my snoozing little boy in one hand and a piece of toast in the other.

Although my birth towards the end wasn't exactly how I wanted it and my pregnancy was pretty much miserable, I can say I don't know how I would have gotten through it all without hypnobirthing. I used the techniques for a great portion of my pregnancy to get me through appointments, to coping with the surges for most of my labour and dare say that if it weren't for the interruptions to my birth, it would have probably have gotten me through all of it. I'd also like to give a special mention to Adam for being a brilliant birth partner, he fought my corner when I was unable to and went along with the hypnobirthing even though he was very sceptical.

Charlotte and Adam - Wakefield 2021